Yesterday was a day full of emotions for me. I turned 25 but I have to admit that was the last thing on my mind. It was also my baby William’s birthday, he turned 3 (we share a birthday). The icing at the top of the cake was going to my little man Alexander’s graduation from Kindergarten. Yesterday was just a day of reflection for me. I had been dreading turning 25 because I was full of regret. I remembered all the goals I had to finish by the time I was 25 and I was disappointed that my life had not been shaped in the direction I had envisioned when I was younger. When I looked around me I realized that even though my life was not the image I had drawn up in my mind many years ago, It was perfect. The Lord reminded me of all the blessings in my life and reassured me that He is with me.
No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. Philippians 3:13
My regrets were many as my 25th birthday started peeking around the corner. I had hoped that by 25 I would be buying my first home and would have a great job. I also imagined that I would have traveled abroad by now and would be checking off places that I had been to on the map. I hoped that I would have a nice sports car that I would use to go on road trips as often as I could. The sad part of this fantasy that I had created in my head when I was a teenager was that I hadn’t achieved any of those things at all.
I actually became a mom soon after I graduated from High School and I put off going to college because I needed money so I began to work in a warehouse through a seasonal agency which was the only place that would take me without having had any previous work experience. At 21 I found out I was pregnant again and I decided to start going to school again. I finally got my bachelor’s degree in visual communication with a specialization in Graphic Design and Web Development a few months ago.
- My true regret is not that I didn’t achieve all these dreams but that I didn’t realize that they were that, Just dreams. I never officially made them goals and set time frames to achieve anything. It’s as if I just figured it would magically happen or something.
- I regret that I never looked for a role model or mentor to help me reach my potential. I have a great family but I was the first to go to college and that means that my family is from the working class, which I knew I didn’t want to be part of, and I didn’t even know what it took to break the chain.
- I also regret that I rejected God’s love for so long. I lived with depression, which consumed my life, for a long time. It wasn’t until I let God’s love in that I began to heal and began to see him start to work in my life.
It’s always easy to see what we don’t have but we have to learn to appreciate and be grateful for what we do have. All this time I was so worried about all these things that I didn’t have, all these dreams that didn’t happen that I didn’t stop to count my blessings.
I have two healthy beautiful boys that are growing so uncontrollably fast. I was Privileged enough to be entrusted with the life of not one, but two wonderful creations of God.
I have a wonderful husband who is always working hard to look after us. He is supportive of my dreams and aspirations and he is a wonderful dad to our beautiful children.
Even though I do not own a Maserati, I own a very reliable car that gets us where we need to go to get things done.
I have not traveled the world but I have had many adventures with my family. We love to go camping and enjoy having picnics by the creek. Once in awhile we go to the beach and have a blast together.
I was given the opportunity to go to college which not everyone is so fortunate to have.
God never gave up on me. He pursued me and was there even after I kept pushing him away. He saved my life and continues to guide me every step of the way so that I don’t get lost as I was before.
25 is just another year. It doesn’t end here If I fight for my dreams and goals I can have anything I can set my mind to.
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.Philippians 4:13
I also realized that I was trying to do everything on my own instead of letting God Help me. It’s as if I didn’t want to share the credit with Him or something. I didn’t pray Unless I felt it was necessary which was usually when I was driving on the freeway or when my husband was running late and I got worried. I should have learned to give it to God sooner. I should have learned to rely on prayer.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” Philippians 4:6